whoi_am23.4.2018 18:18
chapter 1

Chapter 1

Don't ask me why I left you
Don't ask me why I cut my hair

And especially don't ask me if I ever loved you

I really don't know the correct answer
I really don't know at all

I just wasn't happy anymore. With any of those things. With my hair, with you, pretty much with anything in my life.
I'm just trying to figure out myself. I have no clue what to do, where to go or who to be with, so I decided that I am the one who I have to learn to live with and be happy on my own. Because I don't think that anyone else than me can guarantee the happines for me.
I wanna tell you why I left you or why I cut my hair. But I don't think that you would understand.

You always said that I can't play with peoples feelings or just suddenly decide not to love someone. You were right, of course you were right with that. But you know what I can do? Do you know what I have to do? I have to learn to love myself more than I do right now. I have to, HAVE TO, be happy on my own. Too many times I thought that someone else could give me a happy life or make me feel so good. But I was wrong, no one else can unless me first.

So please, let me be on my own and figure myself out, okay? Don't push me, don't make me feel like I was an asshole when I left you. Just let me be. Let me be me. Because I wasn't me at the end of ”us”. I was turning into someone else and I do not wanna be anyone else but me. So you need to understand that I'm not an asshole, I am not an idiot or cold person, I just wasn't happy anymore.

I'm sorry that I left you down. But I am not sorry that I wanna live my life the way I want.

This one is for you. And to myself.

varmasti on virheitä, ei oo enkku mulla täydellistä mutta löysin viime vuodelta mun pari tekstin pätkää ja ajattelin alottaa tällä